The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
