There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
