i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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