i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
