carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
