I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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