We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
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Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
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What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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