so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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