in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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