theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
