I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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