One girl and one boy is just not enough.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
