You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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