I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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