worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
