shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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