Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize