You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
