Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
