Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
