ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
