you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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