You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This is my gift to your gina
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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