so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
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HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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