omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
