He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
