Don't you send me to vm
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
