WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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