I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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