How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
