I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
