Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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