so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
