My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
