That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
