I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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