you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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