Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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