This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
