i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
