I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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