and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
