He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
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