youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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