he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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