he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
