i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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