I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
