i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
