I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
