hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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