matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
