boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
