Having a random hookup so left but love u
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
