I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
