I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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