So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize