I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
