That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
